Keeps getting better.

Things here are finally starting to turn around. My husband has been getting a few days of work a week through Labor Ready and Christmas turned out to be better than I expected. My kids were happy and got what they asked for, even though it wasn't much they were happy with the little bit they did get.
Now that I have dropped algebra for this term I don't feel as stressed out about this term as I originally was. The only thing that has me worried about this term is the entire concept of plagiarism. I went through the same thing in English last term. I am afraid of committing accidental plagiarism. I still struggle with APA citation and on some posts for my A&P class I forgot to list my reference only to have to go back and add it.
I have a tendency of taking horrible notes. They tend to be scattered and all over the place and I usually have notes on one piece of paper and references on another. However, when I do my writing I usually put a little * next to what I am citing for my own reference but I never put what article or author it came from on my notes. Then when I begin to actually type my rough draft into a word document I am often left clueless as to what citation goes where and then I have to go back to every single article and read through them all until I find what I am looking for. This has proven too time consuming and it is really hard for me to remember to list the citation on my drafts. It really scares me because I don't want any type of plagiarism charge against me at any point. As I have stated before, getting good grades is a big deal for me and just the thought that by accidentally forgetting to reference something and throw that all down the drain.
I also have a bad tendency of waiting until the last possible minute to complete my papers. I'll have all the footwork done but I will wait until the very last minute to format everything into a decent paper and submit it. Part of this is due to the fact that I positively hate writing and another part is just due to my being lazy. I try to use the skills I learned back in Term 1 on Academic Strageties and although I will make a weekly school calander for my studying when I look at it I just feel like "ugh, I don't want to do this." I know the end result of a diploma will be worth it but sometimes it just seems so darn hard to get there. They say that nothing is easy. Hard work will pay off in the long run but my impatience tells me otherwise. I think I need to regroup myself, stay focused and work by butt off.

Being an online student.

When I first enrolled in Kaplan back in July, I thought it was one of the greatest things I have ever done. I knew online schooling would be perfect for me because I could get my education and still remain at home with my kids. I could work on my assignments and attend seminars while my girls were in school. I could work on my homework at my convience and didn't feel as pressured as I would if I were attending a campus school. I loved school back then. I flew through the first term with a 4.0 in each class, got myself on the President's list, I was invited to sign up for honors classes ( which I did), I felt great. Then somewhere during the second term something started to change. I started to become really depressed and stressed at situations that were (and still are) occurring at home. I started to struggle with my classes. Absolutely hated my english class, called my academic advisor wanting to drop the class 3 weeks before the term ended, luckily she wouldn't let me withdrawl from the class and somehow, someway (not sure how) I managed to pull my english grade up from a 70% to a 92% and managed to drop my anatomy and physiology grade from a 96% to a 90%. I mean, regardless, I passed my classes and wound up with a 3.80 gpa for my second term. I made the Dean's List but for some reason I don't feel happy about it. I will be the first to admit that I am hard on myself when it comes to my grades. Most people would be happy to make the Dean's List. I'm not. I want to be on the President's List. But this damn depression is affecting my schoolwork. I can't concentrate on my schoolwork this term at all. I wound up having to drop algebra this term because I couldn't wrap my head around the concepts or step required to figure out [12-5(x-4)]+10(3x+y). So now I am scheduled to pick up algebra again in February's term.
So here we are 3 units into the third term and I feel as if I have hit a brick wall. I have papers due for my english class and A&P class. I know how to do them but when I sit down to actually do the work my mind goes blank and I suddenly have forgotten how to write a thesis statement or a formal proposal for a research paper. Which then leads me to a crying fit, then makes me think about my grades and fear of failure sets in, which only makes me not want to even attempt to write anything. I feel as if I am already behind (because it is now Saturday and I haven't even gotten to my discussion posts yet). My daughter had a tonsillectomy Friday and there was pre-op stuff to take care of during the week, not to mention a 45 minute drive one way to the hospital for surgery, I still feel as if I am behind.
Part of my mind tells me I can complete this week's assignments, but a bigger part of my mind tells me that there's no way I can do this. I need to get out of this depression. I just don't know how.

Well here it is 2 weeks before Christmas and I am totally down in the dumps. This is the first time that I can not afford to buy my kids anything for christmas, I can't afford one single thing and it hurts sooooo bad. I have really been down in the dumps lately and there's more to it besides not having anything for my kids for christmas, but I'm not going to vent that right now, and it's causing me to not be able to focus completely on my schoolwork.
Grades are a huge deal to me, going back to school is a big deal for me. I barely graduated high school so entering college and getting good grades are a big deal now. School isn't starting off too well for me. I have major issues focusing, absolutely hate algebra (can't see why I have to take it, but whatever), I somehow completely forgot about an english assignment that was due back in Unit 1 and failed my unit 2 anatomy and physiology exam. OK that failure wasn't entirely my fault, my in-laws decided to stop by as soon as I started the exam and even though I told them I was in the middle of a test they insisted on trying to talk to me while I'm trying to focus on the test. I got a 60%, I was devastated. I wasn't expecting 100% to begin with but an 80%-90% would have been better but a 60% just added to my depression. I am not expecting to graduate with a 4.0 GPA but I do expect to graduate with darn good grades. President's List first term, Dean's List second term and now taking honors classes. I want to keep my grades up. Maybe I should stop stressing about my grades and just do the best I can with what I have.
Things have to get better, they say things always get worse before they get better. I'm hoping that is true because with everything that is going on I don't know how much more I can take before I completely break.

New term at school.

So I am beginning my third term at Kaplan University. This is most likely going to be the hardest term for me. Since I am currently not working and my kids are in school, getting an education has become my priority. I am taking three classes per term so I can graduate early. The last two terms my grades have been phenominal. First term I made the president's list with a gpa of 4.0. Second term I made the dean's list with a gpa of 3.80. I want to badly to maintain my fantastic grades, but this term I'm not so sure.
This term I have English Composition II, Algebra and honors Anatomy and Physiology II. I almost failed English Comp last term, because I was struggling with the work I almost didn't do my final project. Luckily my academic advisor talked me out of dropping the class and somehow (not sure how) I managed to pass the class with a 92%. Needless to say I am not looking forward to English Comp II this term and honestly can't figure out why I had to create this darn blog for the class. Honors anatomy and physiology is scaring me this term. I have never, ever taken an honors class. I know honors classes are harder than "regular" classes and even though I was invited by Kaplan University to take the honors classes I can't help but wonder why I agreed to take honors classes. Last term of anatomy and physiology was hard enough, I can just imagine how hard this term will be.
And as for algebra, I just can't understand why it is necessary for me to take this class just to be a medical transcriptionist. Algebra is pointless unless I am going to need it in my career and I have no clue why I would need to know why a+b(dxc)=y if I'm not planning on being a rocket scientist. I took algebra in high school, twice. First time I failed it and had to go to summer school, then when I was a senior I needed another math class in order to graduate so here I was a senior in a freshman math class (intro to algebra) just so I could graduate.
I really wonder what purpose algebra plays in every day life. Well regardless of whether or not I like it I have to take it if I want to graduate. So I guess the only thing I can do is grin, bear it and give it my best shot.